You might think it’s candles, satin sheets and massage oils that get people revved up for romance, but the evidence is increasing that sleep is closely connected to sexual arousal. Let’s find out why better sleep leads to better sex and what you can do to get more of both.

For Women, Sleep Improves Sexual Desire

A 2015 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that women over the course of a two-week period were 14% more likely to engage in sexual activity after they slept just 1 additional hour. In this case, more sleep equals more sex.

“Sleeping well every night improves your overall mood, which means you could be more interested in having sex,” says Mary Helen Rogers, vice president of marketing and communications for the Better Sleep Council.

When we lose sleep, we lose energy, focus and even self-esteem. Without those three qualities, it’s almost impossible to get aroused. Unfortunately, women tend to be more sleep-deprived than men. To maintain a healthy sex drive, try getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

For Men, Sleep Is Testosterone Time

Testosterone is a key driver of sexual behavior. This is true for both genders, but especially for men. And it turns out, the majority of testosterone release happens during sleep.

In a study conducted by the University of Chicago, men who were subject to one week of sleep deprivation – which the study considered 5 hours per night – had their testosterone levels decreased by 10% to 15% the following day. That far exceeds the 1% to 2% drop in testosterone men experience in a year as a normal part of aging. Wow.

“Our body makes many beneficial hormones during sleep, while getting rid of the bad ones,” added Rogers. “Sleep is when our brain gets rid of toxins and we’re able to stock up on hormones that are important for our immune system, managing stress and more.”

Sleep Can Be a Turn-on Even When You’re Alone

Ever woke up after an intense erotic dream? Remember how real it felt? Well, that’s because it most likely was real, biologically speaking.

Sleep studies have proven that both men and women can experience periods of sexual arousal – even orgasm – during REM sleep, which is the same stage of sleep when we’re likely to dream. It’s an opportunity for you to experience the pleasure of sex without consciously engaging in it. All you have to do is spend time in the deep sleep zone.

(BTW: If you want sexier dreams, you might want to try sleeping in a different sleeping position. A 2012 study published in the academic journal Dreaming found people who ZZZ on their stomachs are much more likely to have XXX dreams.)

Get Turned on to Better Sleep

“For years, the Better Sleep Council has recommended that the bedroom be used for mainly sleep and sex,” says Rogers. “This research continues to prove how closely related the two activities are. And who doesn’t want to improve their satisfaction with both?”

Sources:

• https://www.jsm.jsexmed.org/article/S1743-6095(15)31025-0/fulltext
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23055029
• https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4445839/
• https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/276013.php
• https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/1029127?resultClick=1
• https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF01541556
• https://www.medicaldaily.com/why-sleeping-your-stomach-leads-more-erotic-dreams-241863

This blog provides general information about sleep and sleep products. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified heath care professional. This blog should not be construed as medical advice or used to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other health care professional. This blog is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be relied upon to make decisions about your health or the health of others. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog or elsewhere on bettersleep.org. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911

“There are a variety of reasons why people may have more sleep, sex and cuddling in the winter months,” says Terry Cralle, a registered nurse, certified clinical sleep educator and Better Sleep Council (BSC) consultant. “With colder temperatures in many parts of the country and shortened daylight hours, people may find they want to go to bed earlier.”

With more time in bed, couples have more hours to sleep and to enjoy some other passionate pastimes. “Certainly, there are many benefits to turning in earlier, including getting a full-night’s rest, and for couples, they have more time with each other,” says Cralle.

It’s not just the quantity of sex that picks up during winter – the quality improves, too. BSC research shows that, among people who are intimate more often in cold weather, 77% find their winter sex is better when compared with other times of the year.

Not all relationships and sleep improve with extra bedtime

All of this makes winter sound like the most romantic time of all. However, not all couples equally enjoy the Valentine’s season slumber party. In some relationships, extra time in bed creates discomfort and stress. Partners struggle with sleep habits and preferences that don’t align with one another’s. This keeps couples from enjoying healthful sleep, plus getting extra energy and excitement for cuddling and sex.

People of all genders and ages are affected by sleep deficits. Research shows that when men regularly sleep for 5 hours or less, their testosterone levels drop to the levels of a man 15 years older, making them less excited about sex. A study of college-aged women shows that they increase their sex drive by 14% with every extra hour of sleep.

The lack of sleep hurts relationships even beyond the bedroom. Studies show that when we’re not getting enough sleep, we are less attractive, less witty and more argumentative. Additional research shows our need for sleep can make us less satisfied in our relationships. Why does this happen? The long story short is that our pre-frontal cortex, the brain section we use to weigh and make decisions, makes more mistakes when under-rested. Tired minds can be less talented at connecting in emotion or touch.

For example, a recent study from the Ohio State Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research reviewed the sleep habits and behaviors of 43 married couples. Among those who slept less, the twosomes had poorer moods and were more hostile toward each other when they functioned with less than 7 hours of sleep. Interestingly, the well-rested couples still had disagreements, but the way they handled them was different, approaching conflicts in a more constructive, collaborative manner.

Reclaim sexy, healthful sleep for your relationship

If you’re in one of these relationships where one or both people struggle to sleep, you’re not alone. On average, one in three Americans says their partner’s sleep problems hurt their ability to snooze. The good news is that you and your lover don’t have to settle for separate beds. You can use Valentine’s Day as a reason to bring harmony back to the bedroom.

The first step in solving sleep issues, like most tensions in a relationship, is to communicate. With your partner, dream up a strategy for helping each other rest long and well. Even couples who enjoy compatible sleep can try a new trick or two for even better time in the bedroom. Prepare for a season of sexier slumber by adding some new approaches.

• Share a bedtime. Review both of your schedules and set a time that works for you to curl up together and enjoy some pre-sleep cuddling.
• Set the heat just right. Many partners disagree about the ideal temperature to sleep. Talk about a potential setting that works for both of you. If you’re far apart in your climate desires, there are ways to customize your experiences. Use mattress pads that heat or cool, or double-fold a blanket over your freezing lover.
• Look away from the screens. Most things in life are sexier than checking email. In fact, everything in life is sexier than checking email. Once you hop into bed, it’s time for laptops, phones and work to enjoy their own slumber. Make your bedroom a sanctuary to relax.
• Talk about your favorite positions for sleep. Your bed is a shared space, and that’s a problem if one partner’s posture flings the other person to the very edge of the mattress. Have a discussion about the best ways to lie for cuddling and sleep.
• Let there be light, or embrace the darkness. Many people who struggle with sleep cite light sensitivity as a reason for restlessness. Adjust your light fixtures and window treatments for a brightness that benefits both partners.
• Find ways to de-stress. Turning off your screens is one way to reduce anxiety, but there are other things you can do to place yourself in the best mindset before rest. Try a meditation practice or grab a book. Might we suggest snuggling? Research shows that 86% of Americans claim to feel benefits from cuddling. There’s an important note with that statistic, though. The pro-cuddling sentiment is strongest among people with a comfortable mattress.
• Invest in a mattress designed for both partners. If winter is the season when you’re most often in bed, then it’s a great time to get a mattress that meets your preferences. Talk with your partner about the materials and the levels of firmness that give both of you your best rest.

With a new plan for sleep in place, you and your partner can bring plenty of great sleep and sex into Valentine’s Day and the rest of winter. Give yourselves – from your brains to your backs – the rest they need to be creative and romantic during winter and throughout the year.

Close to one-third of respondents choose to cuddle up, stay in bed longer or have more sex to keep warm during the winter months. And many cuddling fans prefer to snuggle up in their beds (28%).

A majority (77%) of those who keep away winter’s chill by having more sex say they find intimacy more satisfying when the weather is cold outside.

Further, most Americans surveyed (86%) believe there are distinct benefits to cuddling. These feelings were strongest among respondents who reported having a comfortable mattress.

“There are a variety of reasons why people may be sleeping, having more sex and cuddling in the winter months,” says Terry Cralle, a registered nurse, certified clinical sleep educator and BSC spokesperson. “With colder temperatures in many parts of the country and shortened daylight hours, people may find they want to go to bed earlier. Certainly, there are many benefits to turning in earlier, including getting a full-night’s rest, and for couples, they have more time with each other.”

Regardless of when you turn in, the BSC offers these tips for couples to sleep better in winter:

• Share a bedtime. Find a mutual time that works for both of your schedules. If your bedtimes don’t match, be considerate of your partner’s sleep habits.
• Go screenless. Keep laptops, phones and work out of the bedroom to create a more relaxing atmosphere.
• Check your temp. Many couples find they prefer to sleep at different temperatures. One solution is to double-fold blankets so one partner has more coverage to stay warm.
• Maximize cuddle time with a good mattress. If you’re going to spend more time in bed, take a closer look at your current mattress and talk to your partner about his/her comfort during the night.
• Find ways to relax before bed. In addition to turning off screens, consider other ways to unwind, such as meditating, reading a book or cuddling.

For more information on relationships and sleep, visit https://bettersleep.org/research/sleep-surveys/relationships-sleep/ and to find information on how your sleep habits change in the winter, visit https://bettersleep.org/research/sleep-surveys/survey-how-sleep-habits-change-in-the-winter/.

About the BSC
The Better Sleep Council is the consumer-education arm of the International Sleep Products Association, the trade association for the mattress industry. With decades invested in improving sleep quality, the BSC educates consumers on the link between sleep and health, and the role of the sleep environment, primarily through www.bettersleep.org, partner support and consumer outreach.

There are many benefits to staying in bed during the colder temperatures. For couples, it means they have more time with each other.

• The top place people like to cuddle in is bed – more than one-quarter (28%) of all Americans say they enjoy cuddling in bed
  • Most Americans surveyed (86%) think there are benefits to cuddling. These feelings were strongest among respondents who reported having a comfortable mattress.
• A majority (77%) of those who keep away winter’s chill by having more sex say they find intimacy more satisfying when the weather’s cold outside, particularly in the winter
• Of the Americans who think they sleep fewer hours in the winter, 17% of them say they sleep less because they were too busy “gettin’ busy!”

The young and the restful

• Those younger than 50 are more likely than those older to say they cuddle and/or “make love” to stay warm in the winter
• Those younger than 50 are more likely than those older to say they sleep more in the winter than other times of the year

Excited for winter bedtime bliss

• More than half (53%) of all people are looking forward (at least somewhat) to the cooler weather
• A little more than half of Americans (51%) sleep more in the wintertime, and 42% find winter to be the best sleeping season
• Almost half (48%) of all Americans say they spend more time in bed in the winter
• About two-thirds (64%) of those who say they sleep more hours in the winter answer “it gets dark early” as the reason why they do so

A comfortable mattress goes a long way

• Of those who do find their bed/mattress very comfortable, they are also more likely than those who do not find their bed as comfortable to:
  • Look forward to the upcoming cooler/colder weather
  • Believe that there are benefits to cuddling
  • Say they sleep more hours in the winter than other times of the year
  • Say they sleep more hours in the winter because they sleep better after “making sweet, sweet love”
  • Say they definitely spend more time in bed in the winter

Survey Details: Better Sleep Council October 2017