couples Archives - Better Sleep Council | Start every day with a good night’s sleep https://bettersleep.org/tag/couples/ A program of the International Sleep Products Association Tue, 13 Feb 2024 15:31:04 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 https://bettersleep.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/cropped-favicon-1-32x32.png couples Archives - Better Sleep Council | Start every day with a good night’s sleep https://bettersleep.org/tag/couples/ 32 32 Winter Sleep and Sex https://bettersleep.org/blog/winter-sleep-and-sex/ Tue, 17 Dec 2019 16:28:07 +0000 https://bettersleep.org/?p=3580 Wintertime heats up cuddle time

The fireplace and furnace aren’t the only sources of indoor heat in the winter. Americans retreat to the bedroom to get through their coldest, darkest days by having some of the best winter sleep and sex of the year.

In a survey conducted by the Better Sleep Council, 48% of responders say they definitely spend more time in bed during the winter. The biggest reason? It gets dark early. About two-thirds (64%) said those early sunsets and the switch to standard time make them want to get under the covers and stay there.

Time to Rev up the Intimacy

So it’s only 9 p.m. and you find yourself already in bed. What might start as spooning up to your bed partner just to stay warm on a chilly winter night often ends up in steamy sex. It’s a fact. Research done by the University of Texas reports the peak period for conception occurs between November and January.

Our responders say, bring on all that extra lovemaking! More than three-quarters (77%) think sex is better in the winter. When asked to explain why, people most often cited “cuddling” and “warmth” as reasons. It appears that the emotional oxytocin rush from the intimate contact, plus the added physical benefit of sharing body heat, give cold-season sex such appeal.

A Chance to Get Some Rest

It’s not just sex that Americans get a lot of in the winter. More than half of us (51%) will get more hours of sleep in the winter compared to the other three seasons too. Those who report having a comfortable bed (36%) are the most likely to say they’ll get more sleep.

While 42% of people say the season that offers the best sleep is winter, there was a small minority (10%) who said that breathing issues from dry winter air and the added stress of the season negatively impact their sleep.

“If you’re not in the group who sleeps well in the winter, you might consider upgrading your mattress,” says Mary Helen Rogers, vice president of marketing and communications for the Better Sleep Council. “Using room humidifiers and practicing relaxation techniques can also help alleviate some of the things that commonly get in the way of quality sleep this time of year.”

Or you can just have sex.

One in five responders (19%) said the extra time they spend in bed during the winter is due to the fact that they slept better after making love.

It’s cold outside, but hot in bed this winter. Discover why couples snuggle up to bundle up from @BetterSleepOrg

Sources:

This blog provides general information about sleep and sleep products. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified heath care professional. This blog should not be construed as medical advice or used to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other health care professional. This blog is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be relied upon to make decisions about your health or the health of others. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog or elsewhere on bettersleep.org. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911.

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Better Sleep Leads to Better Sex https://bettersleep.org/blog/better-sleep-leads-to-better-sex/ Tue, 03 Sep 2019 13:55:27 +0000 https://bettersleep.org/?p=3342 Explore the relationship between your sleep and sex life

You might think it’s candles, satin sheets and massage oils that get people revved up for romance, but the evidence is increasing that sleep is closely connected to sexual arousal. Let’s find out why better sleep leads to better sex and what you can do to get more of both.

For Women, Sleep Improves Sexual Desire

A 2015 study published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine showed that women over the course of a two-week period were 14% more likely to engage in sexual activity after they slept just 1 additional hour. In this case, more sleep equals more sex.

“Sleeping well every night improves your overall mood, which means you could be more interested in having sex,” says Mary Helen Rogers, vice president of marketing and communications for the Better Sleep Council.

When we lose sleep, we lose energy, focus and even self-esteem. Without those three qualities, it’s almost impossible to get aroused. Unfortunately, women tend to be more sleep-deprived than men. To maintain a healthy sex drive, try getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

For Men, Sleep Is Testosterone Time

Testosterone is a key driver of sexual behavior. This is true for both genders, but especially for men. And it turns out, the majority of testosterone release happens during sleep.

In a study conducted by the University of Chicago, men who were subject to one week of sleep deprivation – which the study considered 5 hours per night – had their testosterone levels decreased by 10% to 15% the following day. That far exceeds the 1% to 2% drop in testosterone men experience in a year as a normal part of aging. Wow.

“Our body makes many beneficial hormones during sleep, while getting rid of the bad ones,” added Rogers. “Sleep is when our brain gets rid of toxins and we’re able to stock up on hormones that are important for our immune system, managing stress and more.”

Sleep Can Be a Turn-on Even When You’re Alone

Ever woke up after an intense erotic dream? Remember how real it felt? Well, that’s because it most likely was real, biologically speaking.

Sleep studies have proven that both men and women can experience periods of sexual arousal – even orgasm – during REM sleep, which is the same stage of sleep when we’re likely to dream. It’s an opportunity for you to experience the pleasure of sex without consciously engaging in it. All you have to do is spend time in the deep sleep zone.

(BTW: If you want sexier dreams, you might want to try sleeping in a different sleeping position. A 2012 study published in the academic journal Dreaming found people who ZZZ on their stomachs are much more likely to have XXX dreams.)

Get Turned on to Better Sleep

“For years, the Better Sleep Council has recommended that the bedroom be used for mainly sleep and sex,” says Rogers. “This research continues to prove how closely related the two activities are. And who doesn’t want to improve their satisfaction with both?”

Check out the relationship between your sleep and sex life, and learn from @BetterSleepOrg why more of one might lead to more of the other. #BSCSleepTips

Sources:

This blog provides general information about sleep and sleep products. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified heath care professional. This blog should not be construed as medical advice or used to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other health care professional. This blog is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be relied upon to make decisions about your health or the health of others. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog or elsewhere on bettersleep.org. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911

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The Benefits of Sleeping Together https://bettersleep.org/blog/the-benefits-of-sleeping-together/ Tue, 05 Feb 2019 18:45:34 +0000 https://bettersleep.org/?p=2637 Benefits of Sleeping Together

Spending hours in bed with your true love is one of the best things you can do with one another. And we’re not just talking about the kind of exploits you might read about in a steamy romance novel. The benefits of sleeping together – actually sleeping next to your partner – can have a positive impact on your personal well-being, as well as the health of your relationship.

So get ready to get closer, both physically and emotionally, this Valentine’s Day. We guarantee that you’ll enjoy it more than any box of chocolate or perfume you could receive.

It’s All about the “Cuddle Chemical.”

Oxytocin (aka the cuddle chemical or the love hormone) is a chemical compound produced in the brain that prompts feelings of empathy, trust, relaxation and reduced anxiety.

Levels of oxytocin rise when we make physical contact with another human being. So when you hop into bed and spoon with your honey or take it to the next level of intimacy, the chemical is released and you feel calm and protected. In turn, feeling safe and secure helps you to fall asleep more easily which gives you more time to cycle through the stages of deep, restorative sleep.

(Public Service Announcement: The effects of oxytocin can be powerful. Nuzzling can quickly turn into snoozing. So don’t be too offended if your partner dozes off right after you’ve snuggled up because you’re in the mood for a little action. You’re helping them to a better night’s sleep.)

The Perception of Proximity.

Maybe it’s the oxytocin rush. Maybe it’s evolutionary development that stems from our ancestors sharing sleeping quarters as a precaution during the vulnerable state of sleep. No matter the science or the biology of it, research finds that people simply feel better about their sleep when sharing the bed with a loved one.

One study from the University of Utah found an increase in reported sleep issues when people are temporarily separated from their bed partner – due to business-related travel, for example. When a couple is reunited after the separation, there was a dramatic decline in reported sleep problems.

Another multiyear study conducted by the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that women in stable, long-term relationships slept better than single women or women who had a change in their sleeping arrangement, either losing a sleeping partner or gaining a new one.

Better Sleep Can Also Make You a Better Companion.

Whether we’re talking marriage, cohabitation (and doing your best to avoid those awkward are-you-ever-getting-married conversations with your mother) or anything in between, interpersonal relationships are built on strong emotional connections and clear, open communication.

However, we often lose control of our emotions and have difficulty communicating when we suffer from insufficient sleep. That’s a danger zone for relationships. Getting a good night’s rest is important to help better navigate disagreements and avoid conflict. Less petty arguing means happier relationships.

Now, Back to Bed …

No surprise, the sleep-relationship connection works the other way too. Highly functional relationships lead to improved sleep quality.

In a different study conducted by University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine, women reported getting better sleep on days when they had fewer negative interactions with their partners. Having a harmonious relationship can promote more blissful sleep. So get into bed with your better half, cuddle up and make some sweet dreams this Valentine’s Day and beyond.

Wait. What if Your Partner’s Snoring Wakes You Up?

Even if cuddling with your bed partner helped you fall asleep, sharing a bed with someone who has different sleep habits or a sleep disorder, like sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome, can disturb your sleep during the night. What then? Check out our tips and strategies to ensure you still get quality sleep as you reap all the benefits of sleeping with your partner. (Of course, it’s always a good idea to consult with a physician about any issues that regularly interrupt your sleep.)

Snuggle up next to your partner and learn how sleeping together at night can have a positive impact on your well-being. #BSCSleepTips @BetterSleepOrg

Sources:

This blog provides general information about sleep and sleep products. The words and other content provided in this blog, and in any linked materials, are not intended to replace a one-on-one relationship with a qualified heath care professional. This blog should not be construed as medical advice or used to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any disease or condition. If the reader or any other person has a medical concern, he or she should consult with an appropriately-licensed physician or other health care professional. This blog is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, and should not be relied upon to make decisions about your health or the health of others. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog or elsewhere on bettersleep.org. If you think you may have a medical emergency, immediately call your doctor or dial 911.

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Why Couples Sleep Apart https://bettersleep.org/blog/why-couples-sleep-apart/ Mon, 05 Feb 2018 16:20:59 +0000 http://redesign.bettersleep.stage.env.marcusthomasllc.com/?p=1263 Sometimes a good night’s sleep can be hard to come by – the neighbor’s barking dog, a car alarm, or a teething baby all seem to conspire to keep you awake. But add a restless bed partner who snores or steals the blankets or who prefers a subzero sleep environment, and all hope for a good night’s sleep can be lost. No wonder so many of us are not getting the recommended amount of sleep on a consistent basis.

Research from the Better Sleep Council found that on average, one in three Americans report their bed partner has a negative impact on their own sleep. Americans crave sleep more than sex – which should give everyone pause to think about their respective sleep arrangements. A UK survey found the average couple engaged in bedroom quarrels a whopping 167 times a year. The No. 1 reason was blanket hogging, and the No. 2 reason was snoring.

With sleep deprivation linked to a host of problems including diabetes, obesity, heart disease, depression, relationship problems, accidents, irritability and poorer job satisfaction, it is imperative that sufficient, quality sleep is everyone’s primary consideration.

Historical perspective on sleeping
In Roman times, the marital bed was a place for romance but not sleep. Folks in the Middle Ages viewed beds as places of courtship, where unmarried couples were permitted to be in the same bed but were separated by a strategically placed bolster. Before the Victorian era, sleeping in the same bed with your partner was considered unhealthful. It wasn’t until the Industrial Revolution that couples slept in the same bed as a result of limited living space in the cities.

 

Are your partner’s #sleep habits sending you to another bedroom? Discover why more couples are sleeping separately

 

The dirty little secrets of bed partners
Contrary to popular belief, sleeping apart from your partner is not uncommon today. According to a 2005 National Sleep Foundation poll, nearly one in four American couples sleeps in separate bedrooms or beds. The National Association of Home Builders estimates that 60% of new custom homes will have dual master bedrooms this year. Some of the reasons for nocturnal incompatibility include:

  • Different bedtimes and wake times
  • TV viewing by one partner
  • Preferences for a firmer or softer mattress
  • A mattress that is too small
  • Different room-temperature preferences
  • Sleep disorders and other medical conditions
  • Snoring, snoring, and more snoring
  • Sleep crimes, including the blanket burglar, pillow thief, and sheet stealer

The good and the bad
Proponents of bed sharing support the psychological benefits of being close to your partner at night. Some researchers maintain that sleeping with your partner may promote health by lowering the stress hormone cortisol and reducing cytokines that are linked to inflammation. Sleeping together is also thought to boost oxytocin levels, which are known to lower anxiety levels. Sharing a bed with your partner may also serve as emotional support while promoting feelings of safety and security.

In contrast, proponents of separate sleeping cite research demonstrating that couples suffer 50% more sleep disturbances when sharing a bed. They argue that a “sleep divorce” is not necessarily indicative of a bad relationship, nor does a good sleep life (meaning incompatible sleepers sleeping separately) necessarily result in a bad sex life.

Celebrity solo sleeping
If you prefer sleeping alone, you’re in some famous company. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt reportedly frequented separate rooms to sleep, as do Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip. It has been reported that Kevin Jonas sleeps separately from his wife due to his loud snoring and that Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick sleep separately as well.

 

Trend alert: Many couples find they sleep better solo #BSCSleepTips

 

Rethink your sleep
Until recently, sleep and all of the benefits sufficient sleep confers have been underestimated and undervalued – but now it’s time to make your own sleep a priority and ignore preconceived notions about conventional sleep styles. Focus instead on a sleeping arrangement that offers you and your partner the best sleep possible, including sleeping in separate beds or separate bedrooms, both viable options that work best for some couples.

If you and your partner prefer to sleep together, keep doing so. Today’s mattress and bedding options, materials and new technologies – including dual-zoned adjustability, comfort and firmness and temperature controls—make sleeping in the same bed with your partner much easier.

Couples should optimize their sleep quality to ensure a great relationship. Whether you sleep separately or together, there’s no right or wrong way. Just get your sleep. Your relationships, health, well-being and quality of life depend on it. As always, see a sleep specialist for sleep problems you or your partner may be experiencing.

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How wintertime affects sleep and sex https://bettersleep.org/blog/how-wintertime-affects-sleep-and-sex/ Mon, 05 Feb 2018 15:05:23 +0000 http://redesign.bettersleep.stage.env.marcusthomasllc.com/?p=1253 Winter brings its blustery chill, leaving everyone to search for warmth. For many couples, those toastier temperatures are found in the bedroom. Research shows that the bedroom is America’s favorite place for cuddling, and that’s where many couples head to bury beneath blankets and embrace, in slumber or romance, to kindle body heat.

“There are a variety of reasons why people may have more sleep, sex and cuddling in the winter months,” says Terry Cralle, a registered nurse, certified clinical sleep educator and Better Sleep Council (BSC) consultant. “With colder temperatures in many parts of the country and shortened daylight hours, people may find they want to go to bed earlier.”

With more time in bed, couples have more hours to sleep and to enjoy some other passionate pastimes. “Certainly, there are many benefits to turning in earlier, including getting a full-night’s rest, and for couples, they have more time with each other,” says Cralle.

It’s not just the quantity of sex that picks up during winter – the quality improves, too. BSC research shows that, among people who are intimate more often in cold weather, 77% find their winter sex is better when compared with other times of the year.

The key to keeping your relationship strong all year long? Sleep #BSCsleeptips #nightynight #relationshipgoals

 

Not all relationships and sleep improve with extra bedtime

All of this makes winter sound like the most romantic time of all. However, not all couples equally enjoy the Valentine’s season slumber party. In some relationships, extra time in bed creates discomfort and stress. Partners struggle with sleep habits and preferences that don’t align with one another’s. This keeps couples from enjoying healthful sleep, plus getting extra energy and excitement for cuddling and sex.

People of all genders and ages are affected by sleep deficits. Research shows that when men regularly sleep for 5 hours or less, their testosterone levels drop to the levels of a man 15 years older, making them less excited about sex. A study of college-aged women shows that they increase their sex drive by 14% with every extra hour of sleep.

The lack of sleep hurts relationships even beyond the bedroom. Studies show that when we’re not getting enough sleep, we are less attractive, less witty and more argumentative. Additional research shows our need for sleep can make us less satisfied in our relationships. Why does this happen? The long story short is that our pre-frontal cortex, the brain section we use to weigh and make decisions, makes more mistakes when under-rested. Tired minds can be less talented at connecting in emotion or touch.

For example, a recent study from the Ohio State Institute for Behavioral Medicine Research reviewed the sleep habits and behaviors of 43 married couples. Among those who slept less, the twosomes had poorer moods and were more hostile toward each other when they functioned with less than 7 hours of sleep. Interestingly, the well-rested couples still had disagreements, but the way they handled them was different, approaching conflicts in a more constructive, collaborative manner.

Reclaim sexy, healthful sleep for your relationship

If you’re in one of these relationships where one or both people struggle to sleep, you’re not alone. On average, one in three Americans says their partner’s sleep problems hurt their ability to snooze. The good news is that you and your lover don’t have to settle for separate beds. You can use Valentine’s Day as a reason to bring harmony back to the bedroom.

The first step in solving sleep issues, like most tensions in a relationship, is to communicate. With your partner, dream up a strategy for helping each other rest long and well. Even couples who enjoy compatible sleep can try a new trick or two for even better time in the bedroom. Prepare for a season of sexier slumber by adding some new approaches.

  • Share a bedtime. Review both of your schedules and set a time that works for you to curl up together and enjoy some pre-sleep cuddling.
  • Set the heat just right. Many partners disagree about the ideal temperature to sleep. Talk about a potential setting that works for both of you. If you’re far apart in your climate desires, there are ways to customize your experiences. Use mattress pads that heat or cool, or double-fold a blanket over your freezing lover.
  • Look away from the screens. Most things in life are sexier than checking email. In fact, everything in life is sexier than checking email. Once you hop into bed, it’s time for laptops, phones and work to enjoy their own slumber. Make your bedroom a sanctuary to relax.
  • Talk about your favorite positions for sleep. Your bed is a shared space, and that’s a problem if one partner’s posture flings the other person to the very edge of the mattress. Have a discussion about the best ways to lie for cuddling and sleep.
  • Let there be light, or embrace the darkness. Many people who struggle with sleep cite light sensitivity as a reason for restlessness. Adjust your light fixtures and window treatments for a brightness that benefits both partners.
  • Find ways to de-stress. Turning off your screens is one way to reduce anxiety, but there are other things you can do to place yourself in the best mindset before rest. Try a meditation practice or grab a book. Might we suggest snuggling? Research shows that 86% of Americans claim to feel benefits from cuddling. There’s an important note with that statistic, though. The pro-cuddling sentiment is strongest among people with a comfortable mattress.
  • Invest in a mattress designed for both partners. If winter is the season when you’re most often in bed, then it’s a great time to get a mattress that meets your preferences. Talk with your partner about the materials and the levels of firmness that give both of you your best rest.

With a new plan for sleep in place, you and your partner can bring plenty of great sleep and sex into Valentine’s Day and the rest of winter. Give yourselves – from your brains to your backs – the rest they need to be creative and romantic during winter and throughout the year.

#DYK 1 in 3 Americans say their partner’s sleep problems make it hard for them to snooze too? #BSCSleepTips

 

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